What happens while handling conflicts with positive emotions?
It was a lazy December afternoon in 2018; I think it was around this time that year. When it is year-end, we wish to wrap it up quickly and go into a festive mood. Everything seemed to be in control; I relaxed.
Suddenly, my phone rang, and I could hear a visibly upset client on the other side. I was managing a consulting engagement at that moment for this client. There were delays at the client’s end, and we submitted a revised timeline 2-days back. The client’s management was upset with the progress, and the extension in the project timeline didn’t go down well with them.
He said, “Rajendra, we can’t take this project to June 2019. We have to complete it by March 2019.”
He continued, “The position of our CEO is clear on this matter. We have some financial goals to achieve next year, and we want this project to get completed before that.”
I listened to him patiently and thought of the possibility of delivering the project by March 2019.
He further stressed, “If your team can not deliver, then my management is thinking of canceling the project altogether.”
Now, that conversation was taking a serious turn. When we submitted the revised timeline, I had an intense discussion with my management, and without escalation of cost, June 2019 was the best possible timeline.
Without cost escalation, this was difficult to achieve. I doubted that the client would agree to that.
I responded, “Sir, would you like to meet me tomorrow? Also, it would be effective if we have your management involved in the conversation.”
He wanted to check and come back. Later on, everybody agreed to the meeting.
Upon my internal discussion, my management responded that if the client can provide some resources, it is possible to have a lesser cost impact.
I did my homework on numbers. However, I realized that more than logic and rationality, this conversation requires positive emotions. The optimism that the pessimism. Co-creation than holding to our positions.
The next day, I went to the meeting with positive emotions, mentally prepared that the conversations would be tough but I will remain positive throughout.
As expected, the atmosphere in the conference room was tense. No smiles. Stern greetings. We came to the point of discussion quickly.
The CEO repeated what the SPOC had said on the phone.
I responded, “Sir, I am on your side. Please consider me as your resource. I am excited about the objectives that you are setting for next FY. I am here to look at the possibility of completing this project by March 2019.”
I could see the tension in the room coming down a bit.
I continued, “Would you like to co-create with me for the next three months of this project?”
I could see more support coming in. It seemed that the guards were down, and we were one team with a single objective of completing this project by March 2019.
We focused on optimizing the timelines, resources, and cost for the next hour. Instead of wasting our energy on mudslinging on what happened in the past, we co-created the future.
What came out after the meeting was a plan which has taken care of the interest of both parties. The client even agreed to additional costs. They realized while co-creating that we were genuine in asking the same.
During the process of co-creation of the future, unknowingly, we have gone through below steps:
- We have explored and understood each other’s deeper level of WHYs.
- We have also gone deeper into the purpose to understand if our positions still make sense.
- We deeply and genuinely understood each others’ limitations.
- We have created a new plan which accommodated the interest of both parties.
- We committed ourselves for the next three months to this plan.
However, above all, we remained positive throughout the conversation.
I never handled conflicts before with a positive mindset. Always, there was thought of securing my interest, and that led to a hostile environment.
How was your experience with handling conflicts?